Dr. Phil To Ride Amtrak Around For Some Reason, Next Month [Train Wrecks]

We on the record as being tired of waiting for our own American Bullet Trains, but Amtrak is obviously trying to sabotage potential public support for high-speed rail transit, if this upcoming celebrity appearance is any indication.

America's Favorite non-practicing former psychiatrist and self-help Guru Dr. Phil "Dr. Phil" McGraw will ride the Acela from New York to Philly and back again on Wednesday, September 9. That is maybe two-and-a-half hours he will devote to solving the problems of pretend commuters, unless of course there are delays.

Much like Dr. Phil is a pretend doctor, the Acela (average DC-to-Penn Station speed: 80 mph) is a pretend high-speed train, though at least on the Acela you can BYOB. (Or purchase the fairly reasonably priced little tiny bottles of Jim Beam black.)

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