Nov 5, 2009

Bernard Kerik Pleads Guilty [Crime]


Bernard Kerik pleads guilty to fraud charges (including "the head shot"); faces 33-month sentence.









Spanx: Still Lurking Out There [Fashion]


Women across America continue to wear "Spanx" and "Spanx"-like undergarments despite the fact that "Spanx" are clearly evil, most especially for the women wearing them, and whoever may be around when it's time for them to shed their "Spanx."

Disregarding the warnings of everyone from male fashion designers to male bloggers, a certain portion of American women every day force themselves into "Spanx," only to be faced with embarrassing situations like needing to pee, or wanting to get naked, and then having no choice but to duck into some nearby restroom like Clark Kent for the purpose not of donning a superhero outfit and rescuing helpless civilians from criminal forces, but for the purpose of unburdening themselves of the tight-fitting "Spanx" unobserved by anyone who might consider such a display to be awkward or, indeed, unattractive.

Furthermore, thanks to the vagaries of our capitalist system, various competitors who have observed the popularity of "Spanx" undergarments are now creating their own variation of the "Spanx" formula, namely, spandex tubes into which women are expected to climb, in order to appear very tightly constrained throughout the midsection, in what could be termed an outright deception, not to mention an unhealthy constriction of one's bodily vital fluids' ability to flow freely betwixt and between whichever organs our subconscious brain deems necessary and appropriate, based on its millenia of evolution.

We do not need "Spanx" in snakeskin prints. We do not need "Spanx" in new hues and tints. We do not need "Spanx" for wedding nor ball. We do not need "Spanx" at all.









Ben Silverman's New College Buddy [Moguls]


As an NBC chairman, Ben Silverman once mingled with true media titans. But now the fallen mogul rolls with a different crowd; we hear he's besties with CollegeHumor editor-in-chief Ricky Van Veen. Now they might be in business together.

The New York Post reports that Silverman might take over CollegeHumor at the behest of Barry Diller, who bankrolls both CollegeHumor and Silverman's new online venture. Van Veen, meanwhile. is transitioning out of CollegeHumor and into his own Diller-funded media startup, Notional, which sounds a lot like Silverman's Electus (both have something to do with online video production).

We're told Silverman and Van Veen have been working very closely together and talking to each other every day. Perhaps a grander merger is in the works that would combine Electus, Notional and CollegeHumor into one venture. Silverman may have been ousted from old media, but he could still be lord of the new media flies. Especially within a venture that actually celebrates a refusal to mature, an inability to grow emotionally and a proclivity for partying to excess. Those are Ben Silverman's specialties, right there.

(Pics: via Getty, Webbyist)









EZ Cheez and Crackers Would Give You Equal Pleasure [Advertising]


Sushi restaurant ads target medical marijuana users. When you'll eat anything, why not something expensive?









Goldman Sachs Makes a Lot of Money, Always [Goldman Project]


Number of trading days in last two quarters on which Goldman Sachs lost money: 3









Foul Call [Open Caption]


[Jared Kushner, in the stands with his wife Ivanka Trump, gets his bookie on the phone to try to put money on the Yankees half way through last night's final World Series game. Image via Getty]