May 9, 2009

The Hipster Sensibility Matrix [Matrices]

The sensibility of all hipsters have two axes: 1. "irony" 2. "alternative". This weekend I got hipster-lit myspace-account broker Tao Lin to help me plot current events on The Hipster Matrix.

[The Title Of Your Introduction Post Goes Here] [New Kid In School]

Hello there! I'm Foster, and I'll be your camp counselor for the weekend.

I landed here via a long, strange linage representing Gawker of yore: one time Emily Gould banned me as a commenter on this very site. Sometime after, I started a blog parsing the exploits of Gawker mascot Andrew Krucoff, and his blog, Young Manhattanite. Krucoff soon adopted me as his son, and I started writing silly things for YM. Not long after that, former Gawker managing editor Chris Mohney - who got his gig with Gawker by starting the original Gawker-following blog, Gawkerist - hired me at BlackBook when I stopped bringing "daddy home the bacon" for AK. And after writing for founding Gawker editor Elizabeth Spiers at Flavorwire, onetime Gawker editor Alex Balk at Radar (3.0), and again for Balk and two-time Gawker editor Choire Sicha at The Awl, I'm here. Sometime between all that was some silly Vanity Fair article, a few entertainment industry gigs, and that one time I got really drunk and threw a bunch of marbles down Nick Denton's stairs. Hello, new boss!

(I was told to put a Laurel Tobey joke here, but I'm politely declining.)

Essentially: I'm a Deliverance-level inbreed of New York's media scene, and now, I'm here. I'd butterfly my own credibility further, but we've got an entire weekend to do that! I'm a college dropout, I know nothing about this silly Internet business and I like rap music. At some point I might freak out and take a bunch of drugs. If you don't want me to die working Denton's brunch shift, be sure to send in tips and the like. Let's get started, shall we? We can break some news, we can bring the ruckus, and we can be heroes just for one (or two) day(s).

This'll be fun.

May 8, 2009

Time to Dance [Pic Of The Day]

[Clubs in Mexico City are returning to normal after they were emptied by the swine flu panic; pic via AP.]

DABA Girls Find Exciting New Option for Romance [Craigslist]

We don't think this Craigslist ad from a supposed Goldman Sachs banker is real. For one thing, whoever heard of an employed investment banker? Still, his kink is a real kick!

In case you were wondering, "ABR" is the love that dare not speak its name, because its mouth is too full of nipple.

What Do Rich Kids Want to Do With Themselves, These Days? [Kids Today]

Vanity Fair asked that pressing question, and they all want to GIVE BACK and BE CREATIVE ARTISTS, even though artists are all leeches, obv.

Basically every paragraph of this "story" in support of a slideshow has at least one sentence that makes you want to punch the world in the mouth.

Whether it's expanding the family business or striking out independently, launching a career in the arts or plunging into philanthropy, the 38 heirs and heiresses to fabled names and consequential fortunes in this portfolio seem determined to make a contribution to society at large while carving out identities of their own.


Dasha Zhukova, who founded the Garage Center for Contemporary Culture, in Moscow, and is editor in chief of Pop magazine. Why would the daughter of an oligarch who is dating an even bigger oligarch give up a life of leisure to work so hard? "I still have a life of leisure," she says. "I don't see it as sacrificing."

She is at least realistic enough to correct VF on the misconception that being editor in chief of POP magazine constitutes "hard word!"

Oh, and hey:

"I always thought, Will I go into the business or will I not go into the business?" says Jared Kushner, son of New Jersey real-estate magnate Charles Kushner, who spent nearly a year in prison on charges including tax evasion. "But when my father got arrested, I really didn't have a choice. I was the oldest son, and it was something that had to be done." Although he was in the process of getting graduate degrees in business and law, he found time to buy The New York Observer on the side, and as publisher has seen monthly traffic on the paper's Web site increase from 400,000 to 1.4 million.

Hah, and then he fired the cleaning lady. Giving back!

Though maybe we shouldn't make fun. Look how depressed Tatiana Santo Domingo, Bianca Brandolini d'Adda, Margherita Maccapani Missoni, and Alexia Niedzielski look! Being heiresses looks miserable.

Gillibrand Wins the Schumer Primary [Politics]

This Kirsten Gillibrand lady, who became a Senator from New York because Paterson wanted upstate support? She is a wiley one.

Chuck Schumer is terribly powerful, and he ran the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee for two successful cycles. The DSCC decides where the money goes for Senate campaigns. If they don't think you're serious, you are on your own.

So Gillibrand, the Conservative gun-lovin' new New York Senator, has spent all of her time in the Senate flattering the hell out of Schumer. And he is an easily-flattered man.

Mr. Schumer has praised Ms. Gillibrand as a political "natural." But his intervention on her behalf appears to be driven by more than just admiration.

Longtime advisers to Mr. Schumer said that he likes the fact that Ms. Gillibrand has been deferential to him and is open to his guidance, while Mrs. Clinton pursued her own path.

So! This certainly sucks for the various Democrats who wanted to run against Kirsten in the primaries! Because now Chuck says there won't even be any!

The same cannot be said of Illinois' heroic Senator Roland Burris, who has raised no money, and who is not well-liked by current DSCC head Bob Menendez.