Jun 20, 2009

Liberal Punks Overrunning American Government With Four-Wheeled Contraptions [L8R SK8R]


Skateboarding legend Tony Hawk posted this snapshot of himself yesterday, skateboarding somewhere it's probably not allowed: The White House. He writes: "here is the real deal (not EEOB). Tried to get a better pic...but got shut down." Awesome. [Via.]









WSJ: Steve Jobs' Liver Transplant [Don't Call It A Comeback]


Steve Jobs had a liver transplant in Tennessee two months ago, he's in recovery, and is going to be back to work before the end of the month. Just like they said he would be.

Yukari Iwatani Kane and Joann S. Lublin of The Wall Street Journal - who, it now appears has an outright monopoly on exclusives and leaks regarding Jobs (something that'd make sense, considering the most direct implication of the Apple CEO's various health crisis: Apple's stock price) - reported last night on the revelation. Though not going to far as to state anything but the surgery as outright fact, the Journal's filing vaguely speculated that Jobs' 2004 cancer came back, and spread to his liver:

William Hawkins, a doctor specializing in pancreatic and gastrointestinal surgery at Washington University in St. Louis, Mo., said that the type of slow-growing pancreatic tumor Mr. Jobs had will commonly metastasize in another organ during a patient's lifetime, and that the organ is usually the liver. "All total, 75% of patients are going to have the disease spread over the course of their life," said Dr. Hawkins, who has not treated Mr. Jobs.

Getting a liver transplant to treat a metastasized neuroendocrine tumor is controversial because livers are scarce and the surgery's efficacy as a cure hasn't been proved, Dr. Hawkins added. He said that patients whose tumors have metastasized can live for as many as 10 years without any treatment so it is hard to determine how successful a transplant has been in curing the disease.

Jobs took a leave of absence in January, handing control of Apple's day-to-day over to COO Tim Cook after publicly disclosing that he had a "hormone imbalance" that was "robbing" Jobs of his body's healthy proteins. Which sounds nothing like what causes one to get their liver removed.

Jobs, who's been beset by health problems and swarmed by rampant speculation about those health problems by Apple fanboys, shareholders, journalists and bloggers of the tech and financial stripe since said 2004 pancreatic cancer scare, has been notoriously mum on the details of his health. Even when more or less busted red-handed, like this, the company continues to run interference, with Apple flack Katie Cotton barely even dignifying the question (""Steve continues to look forward to returning at the end of June, and there's nothing further to say.") and Jobs not returning anything for comment to the Journal.

The notoriously showy CEO enjoys managing his own press, and probably isn't too ecstatic about this bit of news leaking; then again, after what sounded like a pretty traumatic few months, he could probably care less. The guy's got his health back, and a company to run. No doubt the inevitably glitzy Steve Jobs Comeback Special will happen soon in front of a grey curtain, with cheeky jokes and maybe a not-so-subtle U2 soundtrack.

Meanwhile, the company didn't go down the shitter while he was gone (at least more than this), and other than what's no doubt going to be rampant speculation on this efficacy of Jobs' procedure, there's not too much more to see here until the guy gets back up on stage.









Jun 19, 2009

Well Done at the White House [Pic Of The Day]


[Barack Obama points tongs at you while cooking for a group of local male students, as a kick-off to Father's Day activities; image via Getty]









The William Morris Assistants Lose Pay So the Endeavor Kids Won't Feel Bad [Pay Cuts]


Toiling as an assistant within the smoldering bowels of newly-formed superagency William Morris Endeavor should, apparently, be its own reward. Because the $9.50 an hour the gig pays won't buy any other kind of reward.

Nikki Finke was tipped that the William Morris kids, who were making around $13.50 an hour, are getting a pay cut to reflect the $9.50's worth of nickels thrown at the Endeavor slaves' feet every sixty minutes. Now the poor WMA staffers are getting their pay scaled back, what with the economy and all. WME bosses are calling it "recalculating." Brutal.

It's a potential pay decrease that "would honestly make the wages unliveable," according to one brave but anonymous soul who cried out from the fiery chasms of the still molten-hot headquarters.

All this is extra funny and sad when you consider just how insanely much those blustering, besuited Ari Gold-wannabe agents are making.

Though, once a few of these youngsters start moving up the ranks and start tasting the good life, you can bet they'll soon forget the plight of the gofer pool. It's just the way these things go.









Kreepie Kats Klassik: "I'll Be Your Ayatollah! I Declare a Fatwa on Zoey Deschanel's perky Buttom!" [Kreepie Kats]


[Jim Behrle's Kreepie Kats did not kare for Away We Go.]









God Also Hates Jews, Crazy People Report [God Damn America]


The Fred Phelps "God Hates Fags" lunatics weren't getting enough attention with the picketing of soldiers' funerals and whatnot, so now they are just straight-up taking on the Jews. Hey, they're coming to New York!

This coming Sunday, in New York City's Central Park, the Phelps clan plans to visit an Israeli tourism event, with a calendar entry that reads, "All the remainder can sit and stew in your own filth, remain filthy until the day God spews you out of the land and punishes you for never repenting from having killed Jesus. You will be destroyed at the hand of Antichrist Obama, and you will eat your little cute, chubby, Kosher babies."

But... why would Antichrist Obama kill the Jews who haven't apologized for killing Christ and will they eat their little cute, chubby, Kosher babies before or after their destruction? Think these things through, Westboro Baptist Church!

Also we can't believe they didn't think to go after thew Jews until this last April! Although Fred has personally disliked them for some time.

The Anti-Defamation League notes that as far back as 1996, Fred Phelps wrote in a flier, "Fag Jew Nazis are worse than ordinary Nazis….

Yes. Right. What??