Know You,Know Me!

Ah, yes: always good for laughs is someone getting tazed and then spontaneously combusting into flames. Okay, maybe not hysterical, but Fox News anchors still can't not giggle at the guy's mugshot, and then, make a joke about keyboard cleaner. As the story goes, some sadly insane homeless man was being crazy, and cops tazed him, and he burst into flames. There's the inevitable Denzel Washington/Tony Scott reference, a chuckle about his mugshut, and the warnings of Fox News: don't wear keyboard cleaner while getting tazed. He's right, fine. That mugshot. Wow. Classic. But also, kind of sad and spiritually emptying. Okay, fine: classic. Published by Original source : http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/gawker/full/~3/MHA9ugBx...

Cocaine's a hell of a drug . It's the only one you blow money on, when it gets bad, blow for, and (funnest of all), blow with money. But can the government track your use on bills? Cops, man, cops! AGH! Did you know! 90% of all money is contaminated with cocaine , asserts Slate in their lede . Furthermore: the rate was only 67% two years ago, and a panel convened on the issue of blow and money says that the economy has made more people do blow! Which, whatever, I don't believe is true for America, because people just smoke weed when they have a case of the sads, right? Probably not. But in Europe: naturally, this kind of thing is a given. Furthermore, Ze Germans are taking a much, much closer look at the money people are using to huff the yayo, ChiChi. In fact, one country's doing more blow than any of the others: The drug is often taken by snorting it through rolled-up bills, and its crystals happen to fit snugly between a bill's fibers.) After collecting...

Gawker Paycheck Journalism: doing our part to bring more money into circulation, or something. Because even the darkest cloud has a silver lining, every sex tape leak has an upside to it. In this case: product placement for Big eTobacco. The president of bluCigs - a company making smokeless, "electronic" cigarettes ( we would hazard a guess ) could be seen in Dane's Anatomy - has issued a PR statement on his company's, ha ha, disputed involvement in the now infamous ménage a trois of gettin' high and splashin' around. Now, you're the president of a company trying to corner an obscure market of non-smoking smokers that's now maybe involved in a smokin' hot sex tape. So: did he make the push? Hell yeah, he did. "Our client records are confidential. We respect the privacy of all our clients, not only high profile ones." Nicely played, Jason Healy of BluCigs! The non-denial denial that neither rats out your clients nor squashes yo...

This may be one of my favorite gossip items, ev-ar: Lindsay Lohan ended up having to call cops to get her BlackBerry back from a bodega in Little Italy, reports the Daily News today. Where? Who? What? Why? How? The story goes like this: Lohan goes in to get a cup of ice from a bodega. Leaves her BlackBerry on the counter. The guy working the counter runs after her in a cab, tries to give it to her, but asks if she can prove her identity first. She tries to get it back from him, even makes a swipe at it. Now he relents. She calls the cops, but the situation was "diffused" by the time the 5-0 arrived. Here's our lowdown: Where : On Kenmare, between Mott and Elizabeth, in Little Italy, lies a bodega called the Mott Corner Deli . It's fairly inconspicuous, there's not much to the place. Typical downtown bodega, if not lesser-than-average. Advises a Yelp user: Since it was past midnight the lazy option prevailed and we went over to Mott Corner (formerly know...

South Street Seaport , one of New York 's veritable tourist traps/teen tour stops, had itself a fatal shooting last night when a wild melee broke out on a party boat. Is New York gritty again, again ? [ NY Post , image via Getty .] Published by Original source : http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/gawker/full/~3/Zd-3cPlw...