May 14, 2009

Upcoming RNC Meeting Promises to be Short on Original Thought, Long on Propaganda Plotting [Stupidity]


Republican leaders are getting together next week for "an extraordinary special session" where they'll be meeting to ratify a resolution to rename the Democrats as the "Democratic Socialist Party." Yeah.

Reports Politico's Roger Simon...

A member of the Republican National Committee told me Tuesday that when the RNC meets in an extraordinary special session next week, it will approve a resolution rebranding Democrats as the "Democrat Socialist Party."

When I asked if such a resolution would force RNC Chairman Michael Steele to use that label when talking about Democrats in all his speeches and press releases, the RNC member replied: "Who cares?"

Yep, that sounds about right. Just keep driving yourselves further and further into irrelevancy fellas. Enjoy life in the regressive minority.

Michele Bachmann clown-face photo via Flickr.









Earth [Space]


The Space Shuttle Atlantis captured this image enroute to the Hubble Space Telescope. It shows an oblique scene looking toward the Red Sea, Sinai Peninsula and the Mediterranean Sea. (AP Photo/NASA)









May 13, 2009

Dane Cook Shares 'Romantic' Rape Role Play Fantasy With Oprah [Nightmares]


Today Oprah, noted fast food terrorist, took a short break from destroying America with diabolical chicken riots to welcome Dane Cook on her show, who promptly horrified the world with details of his sex life.

Cook, who we presume must have been tipped by one of his "people" to the fact that Ben Silverman was out there on the internet just douching it up all over the place, stepped up his game and rose to the challenge like a true star. With his appearance on Oprah's show today, Cook effectively looked Silverman squarely in the eye and proclaimed, "I'll see you your topless locker room freestyle horseshit and raise you a rape role play fantasy"! And Oprah just sat there nodding approvingly, looking out over her audience of serfs glued anxiously to their seats in the fleeting hope that she might bestow a shitty car or a morsel of chicken upon them, and laughed, in typical thuggish overlord fashion. Then, she and Dane went backstage and engorged themselves on KFC while millions of Americans sleep hungry AGAIN tonight. The end.

And thanks to Gawker video intern Krutika Mallikarjuna for putting this clip together.









Parking-Lot Typo Roils Apple Campus [Leaks]


Did contractors pave imperfection into Apple's parking-lot paradise? A controversial photo showing a misspelled traffic warning sent one employee out on the asphalt to disprove yesterday's report of a chip in Steve Jobs's flawless facade.

The photo you have on your site is fake. I just took these photos.

Please update your article to indicate that Apple's subcontractors know how to spell 'bump' when Steve Jobs is on leave.

Look closely at the photo he sent in, though. Why is the area around the "U" discolored? Could it be evidence that contractors hastily fixed the error (or obscure Star Trek joke? Or is this a Photoshop? You can see the pixels, after all).









Carrie Prejean Still Spouting Nonsense And We Just Can't Look Away [Insufferable Twats]


Disgraced pageant broad Carrie Prejean was all over the morning shows today, braying about how she's NEVER willingly posed nude, but, ugh, you know, there's a chance even more nude photos of her may emerge.

Gawker video ace Mike Byhoff was kind enough to subject himself to watching all of California Carrie's mind-numbing interviews and put together this awesome mash-up, though we suspect that right now he's contemplating drinking a Drano-tini for having to do this sort of stuff to earn a paycheck in this economy. Thanks Mike!









HuffPo Now Killing Journalism By Literally Auctioning Off a Job [The Huffpoors]


Would you like to pay $13,000 for the privilege of doing free work for a website for a couple months? Too bad, kid, because the next minimum bid on the HuffPo internship is $15,500.

The brilliant model of new journalism site The Evening Huffington Express-Telegraph is getting a shitload of content for free, because as we all know, nothing that can be accessed for free is worth paying for, which is why music is so great, these days.

They have stepped up their game, though! They are auctioning off an internship! For the charity, sure, but also because they can! The "internships" in New York media that can be yours as long as you're related to Jann Wenner or Graydon Carter (or, if you aim lower, as long as you can afford to work for free while getting your useless $150k degree) certainly worked out very well the magazine and publishing industries, right? So let's do that, on the internet, now, but even more extreme.

We are auctioning off our own job, here at Gawker, for $40,000. Just PayPal it to us. Then Jumpstart Your Career, as a Blogger!