Aug 1, 2009

Also, Times Square's Kind Of Different, And Brooklyn Changed A Little [Revelations]

In Page Six today: a woman was paid to write a book - "How Not to Act Old" - in which she notes that Greenwich Village isn't hip or youthful anymore because you need money to live there. [Page Six]

Jul 31, 2009

Lowlights from Tucker Max's Terrible Movie [Tucker Max]

Is bro-blogger Tucker Max's movie as chest-thumpingly awful as the script made it out to be? Based on some "leaked" footage we've been sent, yes, yes it is. Sex with midgets and deaf girls; wannabe-alpha-male trash talk; it's all there.

We're reasonably sure this clip was provided to us as a promotional stunt by a production team convinced of its irrepressible awesomeness. Whatever; if the attached clip, and in particular the extensive toilet humor, doesn't make you run screaming from this film, there's nothing we can do for you anyway.

UPDATE: Max wrote in to urge we remove the clip:

That clip was not a promotional stunt, it was stolen illegally. Just take it down, you guys will be welcome to host the trailer as much as you want when it releases next week.

Everything Un-Ravaged, Everthing Un-Burned in Hollywood [Trade Round-up]

Three picture deals, reunions, prequels, and the secret ingredient to box office success have all been revealed! Like a fresh patch of skin that emerges after a viscous sunburn, this last week of July has some rejuvenating news from Hollywood.

Box office battle of the peens this weekend! Who will win? Judd Apatow's self-effacing, sarcastic but ultimately tender peen? Or the magical, wonderful, man-craving peens of the wizarding world?! The wiz-kids up the ante by projecting their weens in IMAX this weekend! [HWT ]

Nope, Universal's not nervous at all about Judd Apatow's Funny People opening. Not one bit. They just signed a three picture deal with Hollywood's most prolific comedy producer. Unreported is whether the new deal calls for all three titles contain the words "Dick Jokes." [THR]

Have you been itching to watch a group of beloved Hebrew sitcom stars who's discussions center around the baffling ordinary exchanges of life but you believe that reunion show would be too 'low end'? Good news! It has been announced that Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis Dreyfus and Jason Alexander will all appear on the new season of Larry David's Curb your Enthusiasm.[THR]

Leave it to Vanity Fair to dole out karmic justice in this world! The magazine is set to have an expose of the ugly in-fighting surrounding embattled production Moneyball. The Brad Pitt project has gained a notorious reputation after squeezing out its writer/director Steve Soderbergh. The rumor is that the piece will be as so many things in this world should be: Pro-Soderbergh. [Hollywood Elsewhere]

Mom populated book clubs rejoice! Billy Crudup, the guy attached to the giant, floating, bluberry toned wang in Watchmen, will join Julia Roberts in the movie adaption of 'Eat, Pray. Love' [Variety]

We don't know about you but it has been exhausting to sit through movies that don't have the basic element of 'franchise' or some kind of 'origin' story. So we're pleased that Ridley Scott has the courage to come along and do a prequel for Aliens! Wait there's more! Disney just bought the domain name Monsters Inc. 2! Haha, in your face, Originality! [ Variety ]

After years of research t box office scientists have concluded that the ingredients to a blow out success are : robots, mammoths, and Meryl Streep [THR]

Kay Bailey Hutchison's SEO Says Rick Perry Is Gay [Everyone Is Gay]

Kay Bailey Hutchison, who running to replace Rick Perry as governor of Texas, is in trouble because some ridiculous 1990s-style search engine juicing program she bought called her opponent "gay."

Back in 2004, the "Rick Perry's wife is going to divorce him because he had a gay affair with a staffer" rumors made it all the way to The Austin Chronicle, but his wife never did actually divorce him, so the world will never know how gay Rick Perry is. But, you know, it's a term people have been known to search for. And so it ended up in this massive tone poem of the Texan internet user's psyche.

democrat rick perry education rick perry election rick perry email rick perry email address rick perry family rick perry gay rick perry governor rick perry governor of texas rick perry governor texas rick perry immigration rick perry inauguration rick

SCANDAL! Someone viewed the source of Kay Bailey Hutchison's campaign website and searched for the word "gay" for some reason! And Kay Bailey Hutchison is clearly buying her SEO software from people who design porn sites!

Kay's spokesman deserves a raise for this response:

Sadosky said: "We did not know these offensive word associations were being searched for by hundreds of thousands of Texans everyday nor do we condone the computer-generated existence on our Web site. They will be removed promptly."

The Hutchinson campaign had no idea so many thousands of Texans were curious about how gay Rick Perry is! Whoops!

Shocker: Bankers Greedy Even When Handing Out Bonus Cash [Class War]

As your money burned last year and banks groveled for cash, we knew they kept handing out billions of bonus cash. But now we know how just a small few put their snouts to the trough.

Reports the New York Times:

Though it has been known for months that billions of dollars were spent on bonuses last year, it was unclear whether that money was spread widely or concentrated among a few workers.

The report suggests that those roughly 5,000 people - a small subset of the industry - accounted for more than $5 billion in bonuses. At Goldman, just 200 people collectively were paid nearly $1 billion in total, and at Morgan Stanley, $577 million was shared by 101 people.

All told, the bonus pools at the nine banks that received bailout money was $32.6 billion, while those banks lost $81 billion.

Big Banks Paid Billions in Bonuses Amid Wall St. Crisis [New York Times]

America Suddenly Has That New Car Smell [Government Spending]

Congress' "Cash for Clunkers" auto-industry revitalization program has exhausted its $1 billion budget in a week.