Jun 6, 2009

Happily Ever After [Weddings]

On Tuesday, the New York Times' hosted a party for same-sex couples whose weddings have been featured in the Times' Weddings pages. Out.com has a wonderful, picturesque gallery of the attendees (including former NJ Governor Jim McGreevy). [Out.com

All Y'All Other Beaches Better Know [Pic Of The Day]

[A fan of Barack Obama leaves a message near the shore in Colleville-sur-Mer while the 65th anniversary of D-Day is being commemorated; via Mandal Ngan/AFP/Getty Images]

Is Chelsea Clinton Getting Hitched On Martha's Vineyard This Summer? [Ultimate Altarcations]

Chelsea Clinton may be getting married this summer to beau Marc Mezvinsky on Martha's Vineyard. Involved in this small tidbit of information: Ted Danson, Touré, the Obama's summer vacay plans, and a "democratic powerbroker."

Rumors about Chelsea's wedding to her longtime mans ("boyfriend") Mezvinsky are swirling again, now; it was last reported by the Boston Globe in May that the pair were to tie the knot this summer on Martha's Vineyard at Ted Danson's crib. A Clinton spokesman issued a denial, saying that "She's not getting married on the Vineyard or anywhere else this summer. It's absolutely not true." Yesterday came a report from former MTV VJ Touré, of all people, via New York Magazine, of all places (to find Touré, demonstrating his deep knowledge of both weddings and sources who are "well-connected residents of Martha's Vineyard"!) that the two are getting married in a different location on the Vineyard.

Insiders say that it's their understanding that the two will wed in late August, at the summer home of longtime Democratic power broker, and friend of Bill, Vernon Jordan, in Chilmark..."It's a multi-acre former sheep farm that's "up from the road, away from the rigmarole," says one Vineyarder.

Is Fort Greene resident Touré going Deep Cover on the Vineyard and/or weddings beat? I smell a book! Not really, but it'd be fun. He also mentioned that it's something of an "open secret" that Obama's gonna be vacationing in the Vineyard in August. If it's true, it's an impressive scoop on his part, and honestly, kind of makes sense: Jordan's a former Clinton adviser who's still close with that camp, and his place is slightly more low-profile than Ted Danson's digs.

Oh, and if you didn't know: Mezvinsky is the son of a former democratic congressman from Iowa who went to the hoosegow for seven years due to a decent list of white collar crimes, including (but not limited to) bank fraud and mail fraud; Mezvinsky Junior's a banker, now. Chelsea's the daughter of a guy who was impeached. So there's that.

Will Chelsea Wed at Vernon's? [New York Mag]

The Least Salacious Hookers With Rock N' Roll Story You'll Read This Week, But A Sweet One No Less [Nuptials]

File under "Probably Not In This Week's Altarcations": the founder of "Hookers For Jesus" and some guy in a Christian rock band got married in Vegas. The name of the band? "Stryper." +4 [CNN]

Video: On Slow News Days, Ridiculous Blowhard Bill O'Reilly Targets Parents Of Cute Kids [He Hates Your Kids]

Not that it's news, but jesus, O'Reilly, you're a dick. It's Friday night, everyone's about to enjoy their weekend, and what do you do? You bring on the parent of some cute YouTube sensation kid, and skewer him.

As any good editor will tell you, a "slow news day" is never a good excuse for any kind of slacking it, hacking it, or general tomfoolery. Bill O'Reilly sure knows this rule good and true! So: How better to fuck up everyone's fairly nice Friday evening than by trying to humiliate a parent who had fun with his kid?

Background: this kid went to the dentist and got wasted on some nitrous. His dad buckled him in the backseat and interviewed him, and it got 22 million YouTube hits (not a joke). The entire thing is hysterical, except, not to the morally outraged.

Bill got a little "queasy" himself towards the end there, as you can see. Little does he know that "David After Dentist" is becoming a full-on fashion trend, and soon, drugged-out, gassed-up post-dental-op zombies are going to be roaming the earth, killing, stealing, and raping for their next huff of the can't-get-enough. And they will all be taking! Video! Of it! The revolution will be televised! Except not, because these are just people who left the dentist, being cute, and you're just a guy who has never had a day of fun in his entire life. Or a good laughing gas high.

By the way, the 'David' in 'David After Dentist' is fine, and looks to be growing up like a fairly normal, hyperactive tween, as evidenced by the sober cuteness here. I'm sure his babysitters hate him.

Fine For Parking Under The BQE: Death By Ticketing [Nypd]

New York's Finest: ticketed a van for a month before finding a corpse inside.