Mar 1, 2010

Russia To Send Shamed Olympians to Gulag, Start All Over Again [What A Country]

An angry Dmitry Medvedev, president of all Mother Russia, has issued a fiery statement about his country's Olympic athletes biffing it so hard in the just-ended Vancouver games. He wants the resignations of Russian Olympic officials on his desk immediately!

"Those responsible should take the brave decision and sign a letter (of resignation). If they can't we will help them," he said on television yesterday, demanding that things be changed lest the Motherland suffer another embarrassment (the usually strong Russian team finished 11th in the medal count) on its home turf in 2014. He blames it on officials and trainers, who were maybe not devoting all the allotted money to the actual, you know, training of sports people: "The athlete, not federations, those fat cats, must be given priority." Those filthy fat cats, stealing Soviet pride with all their wasteful spending. OMG, is Medvedev a Tea Bagger?


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