Jan 14, 2010

At Least You're Not Haitian [Recessionomics]

The Way We Live Now: Putting things in perspective. It works like this: we think our lives are fucked because of the recession. Then we contemplate Haiti's circumstances. A few minutes later we're like, whatever, it still sucks here, too.

In America, it's true, those forced to make their living through meat smuggling are having a harder time, because of the terrorists; but in Haiti, "people are screaming, they are on the street panicking, people are hurt."

In America, it's true, we're kicking the homeless out of church doorways because it pisses off the affluent neighbors; but in Haiti, the prison fell down and all the inmates who weren't crushed to death ran away.

In America, it's true, we're still mourning the cold snap that fucked up the Florida citrus crop, which is sad and all but come on people, I'm from Florida and yes, once in a rare while it does get chilly, so you put on a "coat," and it's weird but you survive; but in Haiti, the Roman Catholic archbishop of Port-au-Prince was found dead in the rubble.

In America, it's true, the only way to make $500,000 is to be compensated for being taken as a child bride by a televangelist; but in Haiti, every single Doctors Without Borders health care facility has fucking collapsed.

We know how much you hate feeling sorry for others, America; it robs you of valuable time when you could be feeling sorry for yourselves. So donate! Donate! Donate! The faster you do, the faster you can go on about your business, secure in the knowledge that Hey, how about somebody give me a handout, EH?

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