This week, junior mogul Jared Kushner found love, no one found work, and a teleprompter and a local artist died.
- Sarah Palin quit her job because she was not very good at it. She is also not very good at writing editorials.
- Jared Kushner fired everyone from their jobs, and then he proposed to a Trump.
- Hey, our hypsersexualised, moronic future is here.
- Matt Drudge likes weird local news, and Politico.
- Obama's teleprompter broke, and despite that he was able to speak real words, in English and everything! But he still throws like a girl.
- Dash Snow died. And then he became an icon.
- Yahoo's CEO went on a vacation and demanded that everyone else, who didn't go on vacation, work extra hard while she was gone.
- Oh, boy, a book about how terrible Lizzie Grubman is, by her old assistant! Is it our BIRTHDAY?
- Debbie Rowe is having a little war with our own New York Post.
- Well, now we have finally seen Michael Jackson's head catch on fire.
- Hey, health care reform. That is a thing that might happen, someday! Or it might just die, like always.
- NYC Prep continued being a thing that existed. And Real World Cancun, too!
- Senator Al Franken told a joke!
- All the kids are dressing as wizards and getting drunk and posting pictures on Facebook, because it is 2009.
- Oh no, crusties have invaded Williamsburg and they're stealing our women!
- There are no good ways to get fired, but Newsweek is really trying to find the worst way.
- To be fair to the Emmy people, and to Family Guy, there really are only like three actually funny shows on TV right now.
- Is Twitter selling us out to the NSA? Yes, probably. They say they aren't, though!
- If poor people get health care, New York's "risk-takers" will all starve to death.
- Old man Letterman is finally winning in the ratings! Hooray for old people!
- You may no longer have a job, but on the plus side, you're no longer working for The Man!
- Megan Fox: should ladies love her? Men, on the whole, are kind of indifferent to her, we feel like, but she seems to rile you gals up something fierce.
- Models finally have a place where they can hang out with other models. Finally.
- Pat Buchanan still loves white people, fyi.
- Here is a tip: if you love your wife, don't run for Congress and live at the C Street house.
- Perez Hilton does not even write the terrible things he writes! So you cant' get mad!
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