May 1, 2009

Down to Our Last Nickel [Recessionomics]

The Way We Live Now: Miserly. Every penny's important. Any scam's a good scam. Jump the turnstiles! Carry a plastic bag wherever you go, collecting scraps! We're on our own now.

So mayor Bloomberg, a billionaire, wants to make us pay a nickel for each plastic bag we get from the stores. That totally defeats the money-saving benefits of using them instead of trash bags. The environment, my butt. Those bags are the only thing keeping rain off of the average New Yorker's head. And they're the spring's hottest fashion accessory!

What is this, a war on the average New Yorker? Now the fat cats in the "legal" system have taken the time to make sure everybody knows that bending metro cards to scam free rides is a crime. A felony! One guy got two years in prison for it. Good god that is an outrage. The Giuliani days are returning even without Giuliani. No plastic bags. No free rides. Harsh punishments. Watch out, minorities stopped by police!

Elsewhere in the city, buildings are falling down for no reason, cops are frisking everyone, and there is no space for your child in kindergarten, so don't even ask.

And elevators are purposely killing the blind. This has gone too far.

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