Aug 12, 2009

The Top 10 Career-Killing Things Anna Wintour Could Say on Letterman [Late Night]

The Anna Wintour Tries To Make People Like Her Tour 2009 continues with a stop on Late Night with David Letterman on Monday, August 24. Does she think he can get her contract renewed?

Of course it all depends on how well the editrix does on her (we think) first appearance on late-night TV. Going head-to-head with Letterman could be a huge mistake. After all, he's not afraid to ask tough questions, and he is probably one of the few people she can't intimidate or crush with her glacial stare. Well, she can't go on Oprah now that everyone knows Anna called the hostess a fat ass.

Our dream is that this is going to be just like that time Joaquin Phoenix went on the show: an uptight and nearly speechless figure in sunglasses who refuses to cooperate with David's (and she will call him David) questions. Here are a few other things she could say that would be disastrous.

10. If I spend $200K on a photo shoot and the pictures aren't up to my standards then I'm just not going to use them. Who is going to stop me?

9. Of course that cunt Meryl Streep is not welcome in my magazine.

8. ... and that is how the nanny finally got my little Bee potty trained.

7. I injured my shoulder fighting off a PETA protester, and I still can't extend my right arm above my head. That is why I must take a town car rather than hail a taxi.

6. You'd better be nice to me, because André Leon Talley is waiting outside. His wrists may be limp, but he packs a punch.

5. No, it's not too bright in here, the sunglasses just hide the tears of loneliness.

4. It's just inhumane to ask us to live without our Orangina.

3. David, your son is too fat.

2. Well, if designers have to use sweatshops, that's fine with me. You can do whatever you want to the workers, as long as the clothes are still gorgeous.

1. Vogue could never survive without me.

No comments:

Post a Comment