Skip to main content

Beware the Ides of August [Journalismism]

Tomorrow is August 15, when we wade into the thickest weeds of summer, sleepy and slow. Everyone's on vacation (or sad they're still working), media B-teams helm the control rooms and Page One meetings, and bullshit stories blossom like gladiolas.

August is so dead it's not even suitable for ginning up a war, as former White House chief of staff Andy Card famously noted. Everything's in reruns, and without even an Olympics to distract us in an odd-numbered year, the most specious, pointless, specious stories expand to fill the empty afternoons and turn into cable-news wallpaper. Only in August could the preposterous notion of "Obama's death panels" get a full week to be chewed over, analyzed, rebutted, and generally taken seriously. Absent a dead white girl, we can look forward to at least two more weeks of faux-stories and false outrage as desperate cable-news producers cast about to find something for their fill-in talking-heads to scream about.

We decided to revisit some stories from Augusts past, using the Drudge Report Archives as our guide, to remind ourselves that it was ever thus and always will be. August is the time when the nuts come out to play.

2008: Well, Russia had just invaded Georgia, and the presidential campaigns were largely quiet leading up to their conventions at the end of the month. But it was on the Ides of August that we learned that bigfoot had been found:

Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, a pair of Bigfoot-hunting hobbyists from north Georgia, say they found the creature's body in a wooded area and spotted several similar creatures that were still alive.

2007: Drudge saw fit to link to, and Fox News saw fit to actually run a story about, a South Carolina prison inmate who filed a handwritten lawsuit against Michael Vick for $63 billion, claiming that Vick stole his pit bulls, sold them on eBay, and used the money to buy missiles to give to Iran because Vick had "pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year."

"Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes," Riches writes in the complaint.

2006: It was actually an uncharacteristically newsy month, and the lamest story we could find that Drudge linked to on the Ides of that month was about woolly mammoth sperm:

BODIES of extinct Ice Age mammals, such as woolly mammoths, that have been frozen in permafrost for thousands of years may contain viable sperm that could be used to bring them back from the dead, scientists said yesterday.

2005: We learned that you could grow meat in a test tube, a story that crops up every few years (here's the same story last year) and proves to go no where, but which was wacky enough to entertain Drudge readers for a minute or two:

Once the cells have grown enough, they could be scraped off and packaged. If edible sheets or beads are used, all of it could be eaten.

2004: the Ides fell on a weekend, so the nearest weekday gave us this twofer of perennial Drudge favorites: Weird crime and robots. The links are sadly dead.

2003: We learned on August 15 that Judge Roy Moore's Ten Commandments, which were illegally placed in a state judicial building, were not going anywhere, g-dammit:

"I have no intention of removing the monument," he said at a press conference in Montgomery. "This I cannot and will not do."

The tradition goes back ages. It was on August 15, 1912, that the New York Times published this letter, which can imagine even as we write flashing across Sean Hannity's teleprompter tonight:

We can't wait for our vacation.

[Photo via Flickr by Chaval Brasil.]


Popular posts from this blog

How to find ideas to post new article in your blog

How to find ideas to post new article in your blog    阅读原文»   It is true that sometimes being a blogger may face situations where I would personally like to call it your brain juices got dried up as you have pretty much ran out of topic to blog and you are in crisis as your readers are anxiously waiting for your new posts but you are unable to give in. That’s when you will probably come with excuses like I just posted last week although that post was more directly towards the newbies who stop themselves from making money but it’s still pretty much the same even though you consider yourself not a newbie. The fact is that ideas are everywhere and I mean everywhere if you know where to find it and know how to leverage it. You may be surprised that sometimes these ideas are just right in front of you but you are not observant enough to convert these ideas and turn it into your blog post. Today I will share some tips on where to get these ideas and most of it is part of your dai

Over A Year After Android Launch, ShopSavvy Finally Comes To The iPhone

ShopSavvy was one of the best early Android applications. It launched in October of last year after winning one of the initial Android Developer Challenge top prizes (when it was still known as GoCart). But despite the success it has seen on Android, one question remained: When would it be available for the iPhone. Today, it finally is. Developed by the guys at Big In Japan , ShopSavvy is an app that allows you to use your device as a portable barcode scanner. You point your phone's camera at any barcode and it will read it, do a product look up, and give you information about the product, as well as where you can find it online or at nearby stores and for how much. Obviously, something like this is a window shopper's dream. ShopSavvy was one of the best early Android applications. It launched in October of last year after winning one of the initial Android Developer Challenge top prizes (when it was still known as GoCart). But despite the success it has seen on Android, o

部门心脏?您好!!              生产计划与物料控制PMC高级研修班 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 课程背景: 生产计划和物料控制(PMC)部门是一个企业"心脏", 掌握着企业生产及物料运作的总调度 和命脉,统筹营运资金、物流、信息等动脉,直接涉及影响生产部、生产工程部、采购、货仓、品 控部、开发与设计部、设备工程、人力资源及财务成本预算控制等,其制度和流程决定公司盈利成 败.因此PMC部门和相关管理层必须充分了解:物料计划、请购、物料调度、物料控制(收、发、退、 借、备料等)、生产计划与生产进度控制,并谙熟运用这门管理技术来解决问题,学习拉动计划价 值流(VSM)图,从拉动计划价值流切入剖析工厂制造成本和缩短制造周期 ,提高物流过程循环效 率(库存、资金的周转率)及客户满意率;为降低或消除物流过程中的非增值活动. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 课程目标: 1、建立制定完善的生产与物控运作体系?提升准时交货和降低库存成本 2、预测及制定合理的短、中、长期销售计划?达成公司策略管理目标 3、对自身的生产能力负荷预先进行详细分析并建立完善产品数据机制协助公司建立产品工程数据 4、生产前期做好完整的生产排程和周生产计划?提高备料准确率,保持生产顺畅 5、配合生产计划做到良好物料损耗控制和备料?完善降低物料损耗机制和停工待料工时 6、对生产进度及物料进度及时跟进和沟通协调?缩短生产周期,提高企业竞争力 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 报名详情: 培训时间:2012年11月 3- 4深圳 11月15-16上海 11月22-23北京 12月 1- 2广州 承办单位:新 活 力 顾 问 培训对象:生产计划部门、物料计划部门、采购部门、 生产部门、销售部门、物流、研发部门、 PIE、IT 培训费用:3200元/人(包括资料费、午餐及上下午茶点等) 报名热线:400-623-8399 (免长途话费) 电邮: QQ:120915