Aug 27, 2009

Who Will Be The Next Kennedy Idol? [The Kennedy Clan]


In the wake of Ted Kennedy's death, many people are assuming the age of Camelot has come to an end. These people have obviously forgotten the family's fecundity, for there are plenty of Kennedy's to take the helm.

While certainly many of the Kennedy clan are in no position to keep the dream alive, there are quite a few who could, if given the chance, maintain the imaginary castle. We've picked out six finalists, all of whom have pros and cons. Who, oh who, has the chops, scandal, ambition and all-around gumption to take Teddy's place at the top of the sprawling dynasty?

 Perhaps the most obvious choice would be <a class="autolink" title="Click here to read more posts tagged CAROLINE KENNEDY" title="Click here to read more posts tagged CAROLINE KENNEDY" href="http://gawker.com/tag/caroline-kennedy/">Caroline Kennedy</a>: she's JFK's daughter, grabs headlines left and right and loves liberal causes. She is, after all, on the board of the NAACP, which is all about black people. And, as you may recall, she threw herself into the political fray when she endorsed <a class="autolink" title="Click here to read more posts tagged BARACK OBAMA" title="Click here to read more posts tagged BARACK OBAMA" href="http://gawker.com/tag/barack-obama/">Barack Obama</a> and then later allegedly tried to grab <a class="autolink" title="Click here to read more posts tagged HILLARY CLINTON" title="Click here to read more posts tagged HILLARY CLINTON" href="http://gawker.com/tag/hillary-clinton/">Hillary Clinton</a>'s Senate seat. Sadly for Ms. Caroline, <a href="http://gawker.com/5138479/time-to-drag-caroline-kennedy-through-the-mud">that turned into a bit of a disaster</a>. So, that said, we don't think she's got the chops &mdash; or the desire &mdash; to fill Uncle Teddy's shoes.  Of course there's always <a class="autolink" title="Click here to read more posts tagged MARIA SHRIVER" title="Click here to read more posts tagged MARIA SHRIVER" href="http://gawker.com/tag/maria-shriver/">Maria Shriver</a>. No, she doesn't have any explicit political experience, but her husband Arnie's totally the Governor of California. Plus, she knows how to work the media game &mdash; remember when she was a news woman? Sadly, she's not exciting enough to head up the clan. Plus, due to her mother Eunice's marriage to Robert Shriver Jr., Maria's lacking the necessary last name.  <em>Oh, Bobby!</em> Robert F. Kennedy Jr, named after his slain father, definitely has the look to take over the family. But, then again, they all kind of look alike. Still, lil' RFK has two things that are tried and true for a Kennedy bellwether: scandal and service. He was arrested for heroin possession in 1983, an incident that cements his infamous family status. And then there's his environmental work: he <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Crimes-Against-Nature-Corporate-Plundering/dp/0060746882/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251348117&sr=8-1">even wrote a book</a> trashing the Bush administration's assault on our dear mother earth. But, wait, there's more: he's intimated that he would maybe, one day run for Senate, but that was only if Clinton won the presidential election. Sadly for his Kennedy Idol odds, RFK's a pro-lifer, a stance that may not sit well with his liberal-leaning family.
 Next up we have <a class="autolink" title="Click here to read more posts tagged JOSEPH KENNEDY JR." title="Click here to read more posts tagged JOSEPH KENNEDY JR." href="http://gawker.com/tag/joseph-kennedy-jr%27/">Joseph Kennedy Jr.</a> He's RFK Jr's brother, which means he's also RFK's son. And, like so many members of his family, he has spent some time in an elected position &mdash; he was a Massachusetts representative from 1986-1999. And, yes, he has a soft spot in his heart for the disenfranchised and shows it by running Citizens Energy Corporation, which brings heat to the poors. Now that Teddy's dead, some wonder if he'll take the vacant Senate seat. He's done nothing to dispel these rumors. But, that aside, we don't think he has the charm or charisma necessary to be the next Kennedy Idol. Sorry, Joe.  <a class="autolink" title="Click here to read more posts tagged WILLIAM KENNEDY SMITH" title="Click here to read more posts tagged WILLIAM KENNEDY SMITH" href="http://gawker.com/tag/william-kennedy-smith/">William Kennedy Smith</a> would appear to be a great contender for Kennedy Idol. The son of JFK sister Jean, William's an avid anti-landmine activist and has not once, but twice been accused of sexual assault. Sadly, he falls into the same trap as Maria Shiver. No "Smith" can saunter to the top of the Kennedy chain. Tough luck!  Finally, there's <a class="autolink" title="Click here to read more posts tagged PATRICK KENNEDY" title="Click here to read more posts tagged PATRICK KENNEDY" href="http://gawker.com/tag/patrick-kennedy/">Patrick Kennedy</a>. He seems to have it all. First, he's Ted's son. And, like his father, he's a known boozer and has at least once crashed his car while intoxicated. That's great for his odds. His drinking habits, coupled with his nearly 15-year tenure as a representative from Rhode Island, make him the best contender to live up to the Kennedy name. Do we have a winner?!









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