Sunday is the most romantic day of your life. Today is the longest. Because it's almost the weekend and you want to get your drink on. So here, let's quickly award some top commenting prizes to five valuable players.
Apple is completely revolutionizing the way Americans ignore tablet computers.
There'd be much more chaos were he on the top bunk.
Many years ago, someone wanted to forward my sister's contact information to the New York Times. Supposedly, they were writing a"trend" story on well-educated people who were doing secretarial work.
Now, obviously, there's nothing wrong with clerical work. But my sister, a very bright woman, had gone to an extremely good school. As happens to lots of people, after graduation, she was trying to find her way. Not being a trust fund baby or otherwise well connected, she needed to work at an unglamorous job. It's not like she was also doing something "NYT-acceptable," like writing the Great American Novel at night or looking for acting jobs during the day.
She was going to call the reporter, but I said:
Wait a minute, think about this. There's a difference between doing something you "shouldn't be doing" because you have to and actually publicizing it to the world. People all over are going to read this, people you haven't thought about for years, people from college, includng people who you don't care for. You'll have no control over this story and no recourse.
She changed her mind. I think she made the right decision.
Moral: Never agree to be interviewed by a stranger for a story in which you are in a "weak" position unless you are certain it will help.
When I read this story, I thought, Why did they agree to this? They are being made to look pathetic.
Answer: They were kids.
Teens will rebel by washing their Buicks every Saturday in pleated poplin slacks and golf hats and having all of their teeth removed in an effort to shock their elders. Teens who do this will refer to each other as "gumma," and they will menace medical supply store parking lots and Old Country Buffets in slow-moving, shuffling packs.
Gummas gotta represent.
I know that shit's a fake. Know why?
There's a thought bubble above her head.
GOOD WORK, GOOD WEEK. ENJOY YOUR ROMANCE, YOU COUPLED FUCKERS.