
But now and then our vast intelligence network brings in news of such inestimable importance that we must share it with our readers regardless what empires it may topple. Apple's event on the 27th is whipping the internet into a foaming frenzy, but I think you'll agree that the rumors so far have been pretty tame. 3G? Front-facing camera? Aluminum casing? You people underestimate Apple's dedication to bucking expectations. We've heard things that will curl your toes, and now, after much deliberation (and fortification of the shrine against the agents of Apple) we've decided to share some — not all — of these mind-blowing rumor-nuggets.
For instance, did you know that the Apple Tablet will not be constructed from aluminum, but from ostrich ivory?
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