Auctions aren't just for foreclosed homes and creepy trinkets from Michael Jackson's home anymore. Now you can buy toilet paper and pork ribs from auctioneers around the country, as everything spirals into chaos and lawlessness.
Attendance is up nationwide at grocery auctions, where people bid on food and household items that were either overstocked or past their sell-by date and so no longer suitable for consumption by the employed.
Inside the auction hall in Dallas, a small town north of Wilkes-Barre, Pa., Williams uses a singsong, rapid-fire delivery to sell everything from frozen broccoli (six boxes for $2) to pork ribs ($20 for a 14-pound hunk) to candy bars (10 Baby Ruths for $2). Especially popular are the frozen foods - pies and chicken breasts.
For now, these auctioneers are accepting money from the winning bidders in exchange for expired cartons of ketchup packets and such. But it won't be long before they're only taking barter in the form of Mason jars full of gasoline, children, and death-matches.
[Via Best Recession Ever!]