Wild Orangutans Eat Your Stock Rally [Recessionomics]

The Way We Live Now: Schizophrenically. By Friday everybody was like "Stocks have recovered!" and this morning everyone panicked and sold everything, predictably. Monkeys are rampaging through this weak economy!

The Dow was going GREAT GUNS with a BIG RALLY last week which caused economic terrorists to point out, hey, stocks aren't cheap any more, and then because investors are "skittish," everything tanked again this morning, so we're back in the hole as usual.

Luckily Americans just reverted right back to their previous behavior, eating only the cheapest Kool Aid soup and ketchup sandwiches and hoarding pennies in a purloined sock drawer. We've raised the subway fares and stopped hiring new teachers, to assure that it's harder for our kids to get school, and if they do make it, it will suck.

In short, after a few weeks in which the faintest idea of hope glimmered through the clouds, America is comfortably regressing to bleak days of old (late 2008). Orangutans have figured out how to release themselves from their electric cages. The end days draw ever nearer.
[Pic via]

Published by

Original source : http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/gawker/full/~3/QKIxjfJj...

Comments

How to find ideas to post new article in your blog

How to find ideas to post new article in your blog 阅读原文» It is true that sometimes being a blogger may face situations where I would personally like to call it your brain juices got dried up as you have pretty much ran out of topic to blog and you are in crisis as your readers are anxiously waiting for your new posts but you are unable to give in. That’s when you will probably come with excuses like I just posted last week although that post was more directly towards the newbies who stop themselves from making money but it’s still pretty much the same even though you consider yourself not a newbie. The fact is that ideas are everywhere and I mean everywhere if you know where to find it and know how to leverage it. You may be surprised that sometimes these ideas are just right in front of you but you are not observant enough to convert these ideas and turn it into your blog post. Today I will share some tips on where to get these ideas and...

Over A Year After Android Launch, ShopSavvy Finally Comes To The iPhone

ShopSavvy was one of the best early Android applications. It launched in October of last year after winning one of the initial Android Developer Challenge top prizes (when it was still known as GoCart). But despite the success it has seen on Android, one question remained: When would it be available for the iPhone. Today, it finally is. Developed by the guys at Big In Japan , ShopSavvy is an app that allows you to use your device as a portable barcode scanner. You point your phone's camera at any barcode and it will read it, do a product look up, and give you information about the product, as well as where you can find it online or at nearby stores and for how much. Obviously, something like this is a window shopper's dream. ShopSavvy was one of the best early Android applications. It launched in October of last year after winning one of the initial Android Developer Challenge top prizes (when it was still known as GoCart). But despite the success it has seen on Android, o...

Lindsay Lohan Breakup Confirmed by Lohan, Locksmith, Police [Gossip Roundup]

Farewell, last season's Suri Cruise fashions. Goodbye, Amy Winehouse's bathing suit. Adieu, humanoid version of Lauren Conrad. And so long, LiLo and SamRon's fairytale romance. Lindsay Lohan confirmed her split with Samantha Ronson and insisted the decision was part of a very healthy and mature effort to " focus on myself ." Upon hearing this, Ronson changed her locks and discussed a restraining order with police, so confident was she in Lohan's ability to turn productively inward. Lohan promptly had a run-in with the police . Who would have imagined such a messy breakup for this model relationship? Courtney Love's lawyer, on her client's drug-fueled plunge into broke-ness: ""Courtney noticed the money was gone when there wasn't any left." Deadpan gallows humor: the only possible response to having Courtney Love as a client. (Besides asking for a hefty retainer.) [ P6 ] Before Lauren Conrad's contract expired in March, MTV...

Know You,Know Me!

Search This Blog