Nowhere Left to Hide Your Money (If You Have Any) [Recessionomics]

The Way We Live Now: Trapped by our dwindling wealth. Wherefore the rich? Europe is facing a bad recession. Overseas tax havens are being shut down. And Wall Street traders just sit around watching DVDs.

Is there nowhere left for the wealthy to flee to to ride this thing out in peace? The EU keeps revising its prediction downward; now, they say, Europe's economy will shrink by 4% this year, with "further deterioration" expected. All member states will be affected! Nowhere is safe from the blues!

So, Europe's off the list. Maybe just dump all your assets in offshore accounts, save for the $100k in cash you keep in the safe? Forget it buster! Your socialist president Obama is proposing to end the loopholes that let the rich, and companies, avoid taxes by keeping their cash international.

Darn.

This "shared sacrifice" thing is a bitch. Ayn Rand predicted all of this. It kill the mighty American warrior spirit. Wall Street traders used to be constantly rushing around the trading floor, bugged out on uppers, putting in orders for stocks and whatnot and making the average American proud. Now? This recession, along with decidedly non-dramatic "electronic trading," has them all sitting in the break room at work, watching Rambo and Wall Street, dreaming of the good old days. "Alan Valdes, a trader with Hilliard Lyons, says he's put on 10 pounds in the past year because 'I don't have to run around the floor anymore.'"

It's positively un-American, and bad for the cocaine trade besides. Who are our heroes now? Baseball players? Please. Be resigned to your fate, wealthies. Pay your taxes and stop with the luxury. Switch from Bloomingdale's to Filene's Basement.

Oh Filene's Basement is bankrupt. [DRAMATIC CURTAIN]

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