Week Two of Housewives of NJ Contains An Sempiternity of Crazy [Insane As It Ever Was]

Bravo has stumbled onto a fold in the universe where sadness, craziness and Italian-Americans are bound up in soul origami. This week, child exploitation!

This is from an email from the woman who does PR for Bravo's Housewives of New Jersey. Fittingly, her name is Sadé Council. First up, we have Dina who engages a gay house elf, much like the Jewess. Of course this time, Dina recklessly tries to seduce him by inviting him to stroke her hairless kitty and take payment in altermate forms if "it's a slow week and I don't have money."

Now we have young Gia Guidice, daughter of Terese and crimmy Joe. She's already had a role on the Sopranos! Method actress! So, here she is auditioning for a part in a film with the Rock.

Oh, Derrick! DERRICK! Man, just these two clips contain more moments of cringy insanity than the whole season of Housewives of New York and it raises a host of moral issues. Is it okay to laugh at this seven year old girl? Is it wrong to find Dina attractive in a self-hating way and want to stroke her pussies all day? Is this program destined to suck you into its Grey Gardens-minus-the charm alternaverse? There's only one way to find out: Move to New Jersey, fake tan, buy a McMansion, get fake bubbies, and watch what happens.

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