Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (R) and Russian Foreign Affairs Minister Sergey Lavrov answer reporters' questions during a news conference at the State Department May 7, 2009 in Washington, DC. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)
May 7, 2009
An Arms Control Agreement Requires A Cessation of NATO Exercises in Georgia, but the Smiles are Free [Pic Of The Day]
Bam's Burger Blunder: Dijon Already His 'Mission Accomplished' [The State Of Things]
Yes, this is partly our fault, this story having legs, but still: this man exists, and that is not our fault. He is the blogger who is exposing Barack Obama's scandalous Dijon obsession.
This blogger is getting to the bottom of mustardgate. He is one of those guys who thinks he's really getting under the thin skin of those humorless liberals by making fun of our beloved messiah, when really we humorless liberals are actually just all like, really, dude? Two million-word posts on dijon mustard? Oh, also, he is a law professor at Cornell.
So in an impressive attempt to justify caring about the fact that Barack Obama likes dijon mustard, Professor Giggles decides to make it the story of how the media ignore Barack Obama's elitist love for elitist mustard, on his hamburgers and lunch sandwiches, and to prove this he cites like a dozen news articles, magazine stories and TV segments about how much Barack Obama likes the mustard that the media refuse to reveal that he likes, because they are IN THE TANK.
This man is a PROFESSOR OF LAW AT AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL. Meanwhile, Mark Steyn and Laura Ingraham have joined Hannity in taking this story beyond the internet. (But no one is reporting the real story here: Obama likes his burgers BURNT.)
And Canada is laughing at us, sirs. Canada.
Shepard Smith Demonstrates Proper Mic Placement, Lady Treatment [Clips]
Martha MacCallum used to be a CNBC hottie, but since 2004 she's been one of the Fox News blondes. Today Shepard Smith totally macked on her!
Well, he basically likened her to a stripper, which is a form of macking. Also he made fun of Glenn Beck, which really comes naturally for him. Now Martha is married, but we have, uh, reason to believe that her husband need not feel threatened by Shep, even though Shep is probably way more awesome than him.
Cow's Bid for Freedom Succeeds [Cow Tales]
Molly, the heroic cow who escaped a Queens slaughterhouse yesterday, is now living with hippies who run a farm upstate where she can munch on "organic hay," reports City Room.
Toby Young Hit by Car [Watch Out]
Vaguely annoying Brit writer and Top Chef judge Toby Young was hit by a car while riding his bike in London last week, but he's going to be okay. Here, his busted head. [Toby's blog]
The Most Deadliest Liberal Arts School In the U.S. [Crime]
Ok, wait, no jokes: Wesleyan University is in lockdown as cops conduct a manhunt for a killer who shot his ex, a student, at a campus bookstore.
The shooter is Stephen Morgan, 29, and now cops say he might be targeting Jews.
He is a creepy fucker, this Stephen Morgan, as is apparent in the surveillance pic released from Broad Street Books, where he killed Johanna Justin-Jinich. And he ruined the Spring Fling.
Cops recovered his gun and his wig, and he might be in New York or Massachusetts.
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